“Bhai mai Goa mi hu” — A Goan Perspective

My university gave us a week of holidays. Not less than 5 people declared their intent to come to Goa and expected me to plan an itinerary for them. Here is a handy dandy list

I’ve written this article out of necessity so that i can link this article to anyone who asks me anything related to a Goa trip. I’ll probably update this list as i get asked more questions

Screenshot from 2021–02–01 15–33–49

A friend of mine had the following conversation with me. You know who you are. If you are reading this, this article may be of some use to you for your next trip

Yes, my Hindi is horrible. Tell me about it.

To my fellow Goans, feel free to link this article to anyone who asks you for your input regarding a Goa trip.

Most, if not all, of my (non Goan) friends consider Goa a utopia where the laws of the country seemingly do not apply.

Stereotypes, huh ?

As long as everyone stays withing the limits of the law, I don’t really care what you do in Goa

Here is a list of common questions that I get asked pretty frequently —

1. Can we rent a vehicle without a license ?
   — Legally? No.
2. Can we get drunk on a beach ?
   — Legally? No
3. Where do i rent a car from ?
   — It’s not like i keep track of all the car rentals in Goa. Google it
4. How much would a car/bike rental cost?
   — I dunno, I don’t own a rental business. Google it
5. Can I stay at your house ?
   — Unless I invite you or you’re my roommate/good friend/family, no
6. What do we do in Goa ?
   — Honestly, if I spend my time making a schedule for you, you’re either my roommates/good friends/family. Else, I’ll just pick up a schedule from the internet and send it to you.
7. Do you know any good places to stay in Goa ?
   — I do not (yet) own a hotel. Whatever i send you is a Google search away. So you’re better off doing your own searching. If i ask you for your budget and stuff, it means that i am taking the time to figure out a good place for you to stay. If i don’t ask for your budget, get the hint and bother someone else pls.
8. Brooo I’m in Goa. Let’s meet !
   — Hmmm…
9. Can you suggest some romantic places for couples ?
   — uhhhh ….
10. Bro do you know any good clubs in Goa ?
    — Let me ask some of my friends and get back to you
    * does a quick google search *
11. Which beach should i go to first ?
    — Whichever one you want to
12. Where can we go sightseeing in Goa ?
    — I don’t mind taking time to direct people to see Goa besides the beaches and clubs. I would legit send you a list if you asked (yes, i have one ready)
13. How far is North Goa from your house ?
    — Pretty far
14. How far is the airport from North Goa
    — 25 light years
15. Which beach is the best for bachelors/single people ?
    — You should remain single
16. How is Goa on New Years ?
    — Same as everyday
17. Bhai can you get me sunburn tickets ?
    — Sure, whenever i get one myself . It’s not like i organize it
18. Where do i find drugs in Goa ?
    — The local pharmacy
19. Where do you live in Goa ?
    — Somewhere in the middle

That being said, here is a useful list:

1. Don’t drink and drive (duh)
2. Don’t do drugs (also duh)
3. Please wear a legit mask
4. Goa does not have Uber/Ola. Instead, we have this .
5. Behave properly when in Goa. There were a few incidents (among others) where some tourists got drunk and took a piss from the top of a moving bus. Needless to say, this did not sit well with the locals.
6. Vehicle rentals might have you keep a deposit with them, so you might want to carry a little extra cash

Oh and there’s the thing about the bridge timings ;)

Gallery

I later found out that you, in fact, can take a car on rent from South Goa and drop it off in North Goa.

How ?

I dunno. I don’t own a rental business